Don't do that tortoise!

It's like a shiver of excitement. The feeling you'd get if someone suddenly gave you permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via australiansanta)

walkingintochaos:

thisshitfunny:

thatdudeemu:

queerasfuck88:

Jon Stewart Goes After Fox in Powerful Ferguson Monologue

I been waiting for the daily show to come back so they could cover this

Jon rip them boys a new asshole 

See, Jon Stewart usually does a lot of satirical humour, but at this point, the writers are just like “fuck the comedy this shit is real” and I was so happy to see that they finally covered this, and it was really well done.

(Source: youtube.com, via australiansanta)